Book Review - The Person I Marry

How soon should you start to talk about marriage with your children?  The conversation can start very early with the book The Person I Marry: Things I'll Think About Long Before Saying "I Do" by Gary & Jan Bower.  It is a wonderful rhyme that gets your child thinking about who to marry.

"It's 'who' not what that makes a great wedding.

The clothing you wear and the flowers you carry

Don't matter as much as the person you marry.

After reading this book your child will know that the person they marry should be kind, courteous,  generous, thoughtful, considerate, steadfast, optimistic, honest, joyful,  able to laugh, forgiving, patient, faithful... Sounds like an impossible list of qualities to have in one person.   This is not so impossible when the one who is a ‘keeper’ serves the Lord.

“This person must be someone who will cherish me as Number Two.

Oh, I’ll be deeply loved, of course.

But I can’t be my partner’s source.

When everything is said and done,

God must be our Number One."

You can read this book all at once or read a few pages at a time to discuss each quality about your child’s future mate in more detail.    Make sure to take time to enjoy the beautiful oil paintings of children having fun.  The illustrations definitely enhance the rhyme.

This book could be used in your child's Sunday School class, but I see something even greater than just use in a youth class. Why not have a combined family Sunday School class that has the children and parents reading this book together? The adults, teens and children could all benefit by gathering around this book to help build a generation that understands God's design for marriage.

This book is definitely a keeper for my children’s library.  I borrowed it from the library and now I need my own copy.   My family and I will read this book through the years to plant wisdom about marriage. 

“I set my standards long ago

when I was just a little kid.

I set them high: I’m glad I did.

The vows I’ll say I mean to keep,

so I’ll look hard before I leap.”

Please visit the Bower Family Books website for more wonderful books like this one.

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Book Review - A Marriage Carol

Every Christmas season for me has some requirements to make it special.   Decorations must be up right after Thanksgiving so I can enjoy them for a month.  Nat King Cole’s The Christmas Song album must be played and A Charlie Brown Christmas must be watched.   At least one version of Charles Dickens’ Christmas Carol must be seen.  I do not grow tired of watching Ebenezer Scrooge change from the meanest man in town to a kind and generous person.

What would this classic Christmas story look like if the “Scrooge” was a married couple? We get a chance to see the transformation of a marriage instead of a person in The Marriage Carol by Chris Fabry and Gary Chapman.   We are introduced to Marlee and Jacob who are on their way to get a divorce on Christmas Eve.  Ironically, they were also married on Christmas Eve.   The weather conditions are not great on their way to the lawyer and they become involved in a car crash.  Marlee tries to find her husband, Jacob after the crash.  While searching, she finds an older gentleman at home.     His home is actually a retreat for married couples to heal.   Marlee takes the older man’s offer of hospitality to get warm.   Being in his home is like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket.   The older man tells her about the three golden pots which gave her a glimpse of the past, present and future.   She takes a chance and is given the gift of insight for her life.   

This book made me think about how easy it is to forget what is important.  Marlee was reminded of how special and close she was to Jacob in the beginning of their marriage.   Lack of communication and misunderstandings led Marlee and Jacob to a present that could not have been imagined at the beginning.    She saw how her choices affected everyone around her.   A choice that seemed insignificant today had a great impact on her life and the lives of her children and grandchildren.

One misunderstanding that stands out for me is when Marlee and Jacob attended a marriage conference.   She thought she was the only one who cared about making things work because she was taking so many notes.   Jacob did not look interested and he did not even write anything or so she thought.  That scene alone confirmed for me that I only know so much and that I need to give a little more grace to my spouse.   Wrong assumptions can cause misunderstanding and damage to a marriage.

I enjoyed this book.  I was reminded that even though a marriage can appear to be dead, one spouse can hope and make changes to improve the relationship.  There is no guarantee that the other spouse will respond favorably to the changes you make.  The important part is to work on you and take small steps each day for a lasting marriage.

Netgalley provided this free ebook for me to review.  All opinions expressed are my own.   

Book Review - Dry As Rain

Dry As Rain by Gina Holmes is about a marriage near its end.   Eric and Kyra Yoshida are the main characters in this relationship tragedy.  The whole story is from Eric's point of view so we do not get to see much of Kyra's thoughts.  In chapter 1, we learn he met the love of his life.   In chapter 2, we fast forward years later and now Eric is thinking "I woke up in bed with a woman who was not my wife".  He was separated from his wife, but he was STILL married.   Misunderstandings and lack of communication caused them to drift apart.

An ironic thing happened after he committed infidelity...he learned that his wife was in accident and a part of her memory was gone.   Her memory was so gone that she did not remember the separation or the bad feelings between her and Eric.  Did he tell her right away about their current situation?  Of course not.  He had moments where he thought that he should, but he wanted to hold on to her as long as possible.  Her loving attitude towards him made him realize how much he missed her.  

Others thought that he should tell her the truth right away instead of waiting.  Of course, Eric was hoping that maybe the bad part of their marriage would be forgotten permanently.    While her memory was gone, he became a better husband.  He was hoping that when her memory did return that his latest actions would work in his favor.  

This book is good.  I kept reading because I just had to know what would happen to Eric and Kyra.  I have started some books and could not finish because I did not care about the characters or I did not understand the plot.   I cared about Eric and his imperfect self.  I wanted to know how Kyra would deal with such a betrayal and whether their marriage would survive.  

When this book starts Eric is mad at Adam and Eve because he thought if they had not messed up that all of humanity would be in Paradise right now.  By the end of the book, he realizes he is just like them.   He was tempted and flawed, but forgiven.

Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.  All opinions expressed are my own.

Free eBook about Marriage - Let's Get Real

A free book about marriage for the nook. Click the link below.

BARNES & NOBLE | Let's Get Real: Bringing Authenticity and Wholeness to Your Marriage by Dale Forehand | NOOK Book (eBook):


Go to Amazon.com to get the same book free for the Kindle.

Marriage...The Long, Road Trip

I have been reading a lot this summer, but it has mostly been children’s books.   I am back to reading Sacred Marriage and I am still in chapter 1.  There is a lot to think about in this chapter.

Sacred Marriage suggests that marriage can become like a Midwest highway with long stretches of flat land.  The scenery does not change too often.  You’re asking “are we there yet”.  It has its moments of sameness that can lead to boredom.    After the thrill of the romance of dating and a beautiful wedding, you have the responsibilities of a home, job and children.   It may seem like you are not getting anywhere and a restlessness can take over.    

Couples make a choice during this time.  They may break up and try to create that excitement again with another partner.   They could stay in the relationship and treat their spouse like the enemy.  Or they could honor their commitment and continue on even when feelings say otherwise.   

I do not feel like doing the laundry, but it needs to be done so I can have clean clothes.  I do not feel like driving the school bus every day, but the kids have to get to school and I like getting a paycheck. J   I see where the author is trying to take me.  My feelings have their place, but they cannot rule.   I’m in my marriage for the long haul so I will read on!

What do you think?

Sacred Marriage on Half.com

I am reading Sacred Marriage and will publish a new post about chapter 1 in a few days. I found the book at http://www.half.com/ for a great price. Click the link below.

Half.com: Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy by Gary Thomas (2002, Paperback, Reprint): What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy(9780310242826): Gary Thomas: Books

Rhyming Values

I went to the library this afternoon to pick up books that I had on hold.  Of course, I found more books than those to take home with me.  I am glad that I did because I found the most beautiful, touching books about the person you will marry and money management for children.

The books are  The Person I Marry: Things I'll Think about Long Before Saying "I Do" (Bright Future Books) and The Jingle in My Pocket: Sound Money Principals Kids Can Bank on (Bright Future Books)by Gary Bower and oil paintings by Jan Bower.   I could not keep myself from smiling as I rode home in the car reading these books.  Each page has a wonderful painting and a rhyme about values that I want my children to learn and cherish.   My husband is driving and all he can hear from me is “This is so sweet” and “I have to this book in my library”.     This behavior confirms for him that I am Matilda from the 1996 movie titled Matilda.  The girl loved to read and my husband calls me Matilda from time to time when I am engrossed in a book or being overly excited about a book I am reading.  Let’s get back to the reason for my blog today.  These wonderful, exciting, beautifully illustrated books…

The Person I Will Marry helps children think about qualities they should look for in a future spouse.   I will tell my kids to use this checklist of traits to pick their friends as well.    The books sends the message that your future spouse should be gentle, kind, fun, courageous, optimistic, generous, patient, honest, believes in God and looks to Him for guidance.    

The Jingle in my Pocket lets kids know that good, old-fashioned work is necessary if you want to have the jingle in your pocket.    All the money is mine or is it?  The book reminds children and ME that God gave me the ability to work and earn money so I should give some money to Him.  Kids are offered ideas on how to earn money with old-fashioned stuff like wash your parent’s car or walk your neighbor’s dog.   Kids are taught to save and stay out of debt.

Does this sound like too much for young children to learn?  I do not think so.  The author uses rhymes and paintings throughout the book to teach and leaves the rest to the parents to continue the lesson.

We should take these books to the street and teach it to grown folks who did not get the lesson while growing up or forgot that there is a better way.  There is a better way that many have not adhered to for their relationships and money.   Let’s give our children wisdom so they can avoid the mistakes we made so they can truly have a better life rich with values and integrity.

Happily Ever After?

I finally found my book,  Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.  I started it awhile ago and then misplaced it.  I do not like it when I lose a book.  Anyway, I bought it because the question underneath grabbed my attention.  It asks "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"

The author plans to challenge me to use joy and struggles in marriage to draw closer to God and develop my Christian character.  That sounds like work.  I do not remember all this from the fairy tales that I watched when I was a girl.  The girl met the prince of her dreams, they married and lived happily ever after.  The fairy tale never mentions the rest of the story.

When I was single I was looking for someone to make me happy without thinking about what my responsibility is to my future spouse.   I am learning marriage is a ministry in itself where sacrifices, compromise, love and kindness must exist.  I am not perfect, but fortunately I have a wonderful, understanding husband who puts up with me.  I will check in with you later about this subject as I read Sacred Marriage.